


Three is the Friendliest Number

by Dame_Syrup (mary_pseud)



Category: Sarah Jane Adventures, Torchwood
Genre: F/M, Kinkmeme, Negotiating with Aliens, Threesome, skimpy costumes, troilism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 07:55:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14744915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mary_pseud/pseuds/Dame_Syrup
Summary: For the kinkmeme prompt: Jack/Sarah Jane/Ianto; threesome





	Three is the Friendliest Number

"I can't believe you talked me into this Jack," Sarah Jane said, stepping out of the Torchwood black Range Rover and glaring into the darkened woods. She was dressed head to toe in velvet: black velvet jacket, brown velvet leggings and skirt, and a white velvet turtleneck that clung to all her curves.

"It had to be you," Jack said, leaping lightly out of the back seat. He was dressed in velvet as well, although considerably less: it looked like his black velvet posing strap had barely enough material to make an eyepatch. "Tosh got a fingerstick doing her latest autopsy – she's green with violet spots now. No way will a Jrrn matriarch think she's human. And Gwen is too...too..."

"Inexperienced?" Sarah suggested.

"She lacks a certain...a certain..."

Sarah glared at him.

"A certain dignity," Ianto said, dropping his jacket and shirt into the front seat and leaving himself wearing only a rust-red velvet thong.

"Right." Sarah pulled the two leashes out of her pocket, and neatly clipped them to the steel rings around the two men's throats. "Now refresh my memory, again, as to why I need to drag two nearly-nude men to a meeting with this matriarch."

"Status among the female Jrrn is determined by the number of people you keep under your personal domination," Jack said, striding confidently into the darkness; Sarah tried to ignore the way the muscles in his backside flexed with each step. "And only a female negotiator will do. But smile!" This with a brilliant smile over his own bare shoulder. "This is just a treaty renewal. Just sit there and agree, maybe toy with us-"

She yanked Jack's leash and he coughed. "Toy with you?"

"You know, make us look like the pretty enthralled humans we are."

Sarah shot a look at Ianto, who was carefully following behind her – the ground was rough, and Sarah's bootsteps helped tramp down the spots that would be hardest on bare feet.

"And why did you agree to this?" she asked.

Ianto looked at her, and then down. "Because I thought that you'd probably end us strangling Owen with the leash in ten minutes."

"Good point," she said, and then they arrived at the meeting place.

 

* * *

 

The clearing was completely screened by thick brush, and in the centre of it hung several balls of green light, each encircled by streams of what looked like fireflies. Jrrn.

One of them pulsed, and a box (a mechanical translator, apparently) said in a seductive female voice, "Lovely negotiator, we are pleased to touch all your bases."

"Touch base with you, she means-" Jack started to explain.

"Silence!" Sarah Jane ordered. Then she grinned, and pulled the leash, gently, until Jack was close enough to touch.

She stared up into his eyes and said, "I require a chair. You. Hands and knees."

With unwilling grace, Jack crouched; Sarah sat on his back and pulled Ianto to kneel beside her. She tousled Ianto's dark hair with one hand, admiring the lines of his face in the alien light.

"Your servants are truly scrumptious," the translator purred.

"Thank you." Now that she looked closer, those fireflies were flying in a deliberate pattern. She made a guess. "Your orbiters are glorious in their obedient gleaming."

The green spheres pulsed again. "A planet ruled by women such as you is in good tendrils."

"Your presence is an honour to our world."

"Could you hurry it up?" Jack whispered; Sarah was heavy. She did not directly reply, but she ground her bottom against his back in a way that made him suddenly think, very intently, about those sections of her anatomy currently closest to him. The feel of velvet on his spine, would it be any softer than her own skin?

Ianto and Jack waited motionlessly while the Jrrn and Sarah continued their discussion. Then, with no warning, the lights went out.

"And that's that," Jack said, satisfied. "May I-?"

Sarah rose and Jack got up as well, brushing himself off. She did not notice; instead her eyes were searching Ianto's face, barely visible in the moonlight.

"Are you all right?" she asked, and got a scowl in return.

"Let's get out of here," Jack suggested, and tromped back towards the car. Sarah and Ianto followed a little more slowly, exchanging quiet words that Jack did not hear.

 

* * *

 

At the Range Rover, Jack was all smiles, ignoring his companions' look of upset.

"That went quite well, I thought. Nice bit of stagecraft, your sitting on me."

"Jack, I wish you'd told me what I had to do in advance."

"And I wish that you wouldn't drag me out half-naked as a – as a prop," Ianto nearly spat.

"Hey, hold on here-" but they spoke over him.

"I am – I am furious that you could treat Ianto like this, Jack." Sarah's colour was high, visible in the brightening moonlight; Jack thought she looked quite lovely.

"She's right, Jack."

"Are you both ganging up on me?" Jack asked, half-joking. In answer, Sarah stepped past him and opened the Rover's back door.

"Get in," she said.

"But-"

"Get. In." Each word might have been carved out of iron, and Jack scooted into the back seat. The seat cover was cool under his nearly-bare arse, and he heard Ianto opening the door on the other side and climbing in behind him.

Behind. Ianto was suddenly pressing close, kneeling up and grinding his erection against Jack's side, and it was almost enough to distract him from the sight of Sarah stripping off her leggings and crawling onto the seat with a gleam in her eye and a condom packet in her hand.

In a matter of instants Jack was stripped and squeezed tight between then: Sarah Jane slipping his erection to where it most wanted to go, even while Ianto methodically worked his own stiff shaft into Jack's arse. Sarah was silent, panting through clenched teeth: Jack and Ianto cried out, and then were silent themselves as they found the rhythm, three moving as one, filling and being filled, thrusting, grabbing awkwardly at the seat edges and door handles. The interior light shone down on their sweating faces; the air was thick with the smells of night and sweat and lube.

Sarah came first, crying out, wringing herself out. Then Ianto, his hoarse cries matching the slapping of his flesh against Jack. Then they all hung, frozen, motionless.

"Please," Jack begged, and they smiled and moved and brought him off.

 

* * *

 

On the drive back, Jack sincerely apologised for upsetting them.

"Apology accepted," smiled the not particularly upset Sarah Jane, winking at Ianto.


End file.
